When you’re done answer these questions
What would you say was the underlying issue?
What was the incident that caused the older brother to react the way he did?
Do you think the father loved his younger son any less than he loved the older son?
How did the father resolve the issue?
If you were in such a conflict, how would you resolve the matter?
Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife.
Siblings’ rivalry often starts as irritation and then bursts into a raging argument.
When trying to get rid of a pimple, do you address the surface sore? or do you address the underlying cause? It’s the same thing with problems between siblings, the clash is just surface evidence of the underlying issue.
Identify the Underlying Issue: The first step towards solving any problem is the identification of that problem. Learn to identify the underlying issue, and you’ll get past the incident and right to the root of the problem.
Ground Rules: Now look at the problems you identified, see if you can work out some rules that you both agree on and that address the underlying issue. For example, if your clash with your sibling is over possessions, Rule 1 could be: “Always ask before taking an item that belongs to someone else.”
Rule 2 could be: “Respect a sibling’s right to say, ‘No, you can’t use that item.’
When making these rules, keep in mind God’s command “All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them.” (Matthew 7:12)
Rules are investments towards the success of any relationship
Abide By the Rules Yourself: It’s one thing to set rules and it’s another to abide by them.
For instance, if you want your sibling to respect your privacy then you should also knock before entering their rooms or ask before borrowing anything of theirs
Respect is earned NOT forced.
Avoid Taking Offence Quickly: A bible proverb says in Eccl 7:9.
Only fools get angry quickly and hold a grudge.
Younger siblings will not be young forever nor will the older stay that way forever. The point is, your siblings will do or say things that upset you. But ask yourself, ‘Have I done something similar to them in the past? Did I do something similar when I was their age?
There is no relationship without communication.
> Rehearse Your Words Before You Speak:
This is always recommended but not always easy. thinking before speaking not only prevents things from escalating into an argument, but can keep you from saying words you’ll later regret. Remember, your words are a reflection of who you are. Harsh words can, unfortunately, shape how your brother or sister views you moving forward.
If you’re already in a bad mood avoid talking to your siblings until you’re in a better mindset. Lashing out at others is often the result of anger and frustration.
>Apologize: It does not matter whether you’re the older one or the younger one always sincerely apologize when you have done wrong. Forced or sarcastic apology only adds fuel to the fire. And when you’re being apologized to accept it with a smile, after all, forgiveness is also vital in a lasting relationship.
>Involve Your Parents: It’s not a bad idea to include your parents or guardians if an issue can’t be resolved between yourselves. The ability to solve conflicts without the involvement of your parents is a display of genuine maturity.
>Speak Good About Them: Rather than get yourself obsessed about your siblings’ faults, find an opportunity to tell them what you admire about them. Surely, there is some good quality in them, find it and appreciate them for it. You can strengthen your friendship with your siblings if you “continue putting up with one another,” even when they give you valid “cause for complaint.”